“Live your life as an experiment” by Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche
I often say to people that I am going to stop giving advice that they did not ask for.
Yet I still continue doing it.
Although probably less than I did when I had just started my business. It is actually quite painful to see that I am right and that it would be a good thing for a person to follow what I suggest, and deep down I know that I am right, I just cannot get through to the person so they can hear me.
Of course it is more complex than just me knowing, a lot of things have to click at the same time.
I do let go and in some cases I do not, I just can not 🙂 – I may take a break for a month, half a year or a year even and then if the idea or advice is still on my mind, I will get back to it and keep communicating to the lucky individual.
I do feel sometimes that my persistence is crazy; it comes from an unknown place, which simply does not allow me to let go. It makes me mad when people do not do what I suggest. On the other hand I am grateful to people who followed my intuition and we accomplish a lot together.
While I love giving advice and telling people what to do, I want to share a storey about people who had a crazy vision for me and who were truly persistent till I did what they thought was the right thing to do. I have to admit it, I love giving advice and absolutely not good at taking it :).
In 2009 a friend of mine suggested I join Toastmasters as I had shown an interest in improving my English, she saw it as a great match for me and where I was at the time. I actually thought idea was not bad, but I was not too enthusiastic. Maria had a vision for me and she kept sending me emails and calling to ask me when I be attending a Toastmasters meeting. After listening to all my lame excuses for a month, she actually found a club for me, signed me up as a guest and I had no choice but to go.
Now looking back a simple idea of improving my English turned into passion and provided me an amazing platform to grow and help others to do the same. Not only have I became a fearless public speaker, I also stepped up to be a powerful leader. It is all thanks to one person’s idea and not quitting on me. I am grateful – well it is bigger than grateful.
Today I am on the third day of my juice cleanse and it is also happening because a friend of mine, Lara, knew that owning the juicer is a fantastic thing. When her ex-boss was giving away an amazing almost brand new juicer Lara though of me and as she had one already and was reaping the benefits of a healthy life style, she wanted the same for me. At first I did not care, I was too busy to think about juices and the idea of making them myself. So what Lara did was she brought the juicer to my apartment.
Believe me it is heavy and she is even busier than I am. But that did not matter to her because she wanted to make this happen.
And so now, after owning the juicer for a whole year I am finally doing this amazing juice cleanse.
Without Lara’s vision and determination I doubt this juice cleanse would have ever happened.
I can admit that I do not follow all of the advise I get, but I guess at this point in my life I should try to hold the space for opportunities and believe in other people’s vision and give it a chance. As Maria and Lara proved me that their visions were life changing for me.
How do I choose when to pursue and when to let go of giving advice to others?
It’s in the gut and depends on how important the person is to me and how strongly I feel about my advice.
Then, I just take a risk……….